Just to warn you, this may be a little inappropriate.
This is the story of expectations being WAY off.
2 years ago when I came to Korea, I got a facial...only, it wasn't JUST a facial. It was a facial that included the massage of my bubbies (Lauren if you are reading this, I am using your word lol) Talk about AWKWARD.
I was passing by the same place on my way home today when I realized that a back massage would be AMAZING. So, I decided to pop in and ask if they did back massages (they aren't too common...ppl usually just go to chimjilbang, which is a spa/sauna). She said they do, so I entered the ginseng-smelling room with soothing traditional Korean music playing.
Perfect. This is going to be just what I need: a nice back rub, a little shoulder massage, maybe a back popping--but then she says, "Please take off your clothes." ... HUH?
Ok, that's fine. They say that at every place you go to...but usually they leave the room. I'm not sure if it was because she was in a hurry, or if I was American, or maybe it's just the way they do it here in Korea, but I had to undress in front of her...again, AWKWARD. I did as I was told and proceeded to lay on the massage bed.
It started off fine, with the kneading hands, working out of kinks, elbowing of my shoulders...but then she stopped. After a few seconds, she came back and began SCRAPING my entire back with the most extreme pressure using a plate. Did you read that right? Yes. Yes, you did. It was a plate. A small one, but a cooked clay plate nonetheless.
EXCRUCIATING PAIN. SCREAMING MUSCLES. STABBING BONES.
I thought I was going to die.
That's not where the hickey's came from though. That was only the most painful part.
Following the scraping of the skin on my back with a plate, was the cleaning of my blood....or something like that. I was in too much pain at this point to be paying complete attention.
She placed a small plastic thing that looked like a cup on my back. Using something that looked like a fancy corkscrew, she suctioned the air out of the cup. You know that feeling when you're getting your blood pressure checked and it feels like your arm is going to implode? This was worse. The feeling was something like the cross between a leech sucking and a clam clamping. I had 12 leeches sucking, 12 clams a-clamping, but this was no Christmas jingle.
Thus, she tells me that I will have marks. Okay, so maybe a couple circles here and there from the outlines of the cups. HAHA wishful thinking. I have 12 LARGE salami-shaped hickeys covering my back. Great. No backless shirts for me and no pool for a while...if people were to see it, they would think that I have an octopus for a boyfriend.
These are just the top two...they hurt like no other!
Moral of the story. Ask if kitchen utensils are used for the massage before agreeing to get it.
... and don't ever get into contact with an octopus.
~Melissadaptable
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